Great White North Alert!

Canada Says U.S. Must Consult Before Missile Launch:

Canada, which this week refused to join a U.S. missile system designed to protect North America, nevertheless insisted on Friday that Washington must consult it before firing rockets into Canadian airspace.
...
The opposition Conservatives mocked Martin's comments, saying they were totally unrealistic.

"This is delusional. There are only minutes available for a decision. How can the prime minister realistically believe the U.S. will consult him before firing their interceptor missiles?" party defense spokesman Gordon O'Connor asked Parliament.

I can see it now. The bushy headed loon in North Korea decides to lob one of his Lil Dong missiles in the general direction of the upper Midwest.

Ringy-dingy

Ringy-dingy

Ringy-dingy

Allo?

Could I speak to Prime Minister Paul Martin please? It's a nuclear emergency!

Zee Prime Minster is indisposed!

Indisposed?

Yez, his escargot disagreed with him and he ees locked in zee commode!

In the commode?

Yes, zee crapper!

Tell him to get to the phone or he's really going to be in the crapper!

No, he can't be disturbed!

Yeah, right. Well, you have 5 minutes to pull the shades down.

Why ees zat?

Because it's shortly going to get real bright out.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 4:23 PM -

 
Wotta guy!

A Ward Churchill capsule summary:

He's not an Indian.

He's not a paratrooper.

Can't find his thesis.

His story about smallpox on the blankets was a lie.

He fakes pictures.

What have I forgotten?

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 3:58 PM -

 
Today's Hoot Reloaded

Scrappleface reports on Deano' s Excellent Adventure in Dean Throws 'Blue Meat' to Red State Voters:

Democrat National Committee Chairman Howard Dean today launched a tour of states that President George Bush won in November, with planned stops at what he called the "red-state trinity" -- churches, gun shops and Wal-Mart stores.

"The president has done a good job of throwing red meat to conservatives," said Mr. Dean during the first stop on his 'Blue Meat for Red States' tour. "I'm here to show that Democrats can speak this language too."
...
The tour was delayed for about an hour in Topeka, KS, as Mr. Dean stood at a Wal-Mart "concierge desk" waiting for the arrival of his "personal shopper."

More hijinks by following the link.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 3:26 PM -

 
Today's Hoot!

White House Sent Sandy Berger to Iran to Gather Intelligence:

"Sandy was ready to serve his country again," said a White House spokesman. "He has a talent for smuggling top secret information out of secure areas. He had already used this talent to steal US government documents, and now he's put his talents to good use and helped us determine what Iran has been up to."

According to sources, Mr. Berger was able to smuggle over 12,000 pages of top secret Iranian nuclear documents out of the country after his secret meeting with Iranian nuclear officials. When asked where Mr. Berger hid the documents this time, the source stated "all I can reveal is that it wasn't in his socks or underpants this time."

And while you're there, check out Military Fights Back with Fake Draft After Liberal Hoaxes:

After a liberal hoaxer showed up at the house of a soldier in Iraq to deliver a fake death notice, the military has decided enough is enough. This followed a string of fake phone calls by liberal anti-war protesters making fake death announcements to military families around the elections in November. We have learned that the Marines have launched Operation Desert Draft, which involves showing up at the houses of liberal war protesters to inform them they have been drafted to fight in Iraq.

Bayonet practice dummies would be good too.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 11:04 AM -

 
More Ward Churchill Fun!

Not only does ole Ward have problems with his Indian and academic credentials, his credentials as an artiste are rather suspect too - 'Original' Churchill Art Piece Creates Controversy:

An exclusive report by CBS4 News indicates embattled University of Colorado professor Ward Churchill may have broken copyright law by making a mirror image of an artist's work and selling it as his own.

Placing Churchill's work beside that of renown artist Thomas E. Mails and the two look like mirror images. But one is a copyrighted drawing. The other is an autographed print by Churchil.

When CBS4 News tried to talk to Churchill about a possible copyright infringement, we received an angry response.

"Get that camera out of my face," Churchill said.

CBS4 News reporter Raj Chohan: "This is an artwork we've got called 'Winter Attack.' It looks like it was based on a Thomas Mails painting, It looks like you ripped it off. Can you tell us about that?"

That prompted Churchill to take a swing at Chohan.

More hilarity and the pictures by following the link.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:47 AM -

 
More cultured PBS fun!

PBS is 'slightly' liberal?

The New York Times seems highly upset that anyone would question the existence or objectivity of what they call the Public Broadcasting "Service." Last week, the paper put PBS's internal worries on Page One, concerned that pressure from conservatives threatens to send PBS lurching -- horrors! -- to the right.

Actually, most of us wish this boondoggle would lurch right off a cliff.

Liberal lobbyists inside and outside PBS, including the Times editorial page, are once again trying to convince the Congress to allow them to create a massive $5 billion endowment so they may achieve "financial independence." When PBS stations go digital, requiring less space on the broadcast spectrum, they want to sell their surplus spectrum and keep the profits. Fiscal conservatives should insist that PBS stations should return any proceeds from spectrum sales directly to the U.S. taxpayers, who massively subsidized the network in the first place.

I won't get into a long discussion of Digital TV, but suffice it to say that no broadcaster owns their spectrum space and that commercial TV broadcasters are returning theirs to the FCC who will auction it off for other services. The idea behind this latest leftoid scam is to allow PBS to keep the bucks from the sale of their unused spectrum as an "endowment" - the equivalent of Ted Kennedy's trust fund. Hmm, why don't they give it to me? I could use a substantial endowment too.

The Times news report on PBS claimed even "conservatives" support an endowment, and then cited Norman Ornstein, whose latest "conservative" claim is that House Speaker Dennis Hastert is an autocrat, "the Vladimir Putin of American Politics."

Gosh, maybe we can hear the details on PBS!

More by following the link, mostly about whether PBS is really biased and all the usual leftoid denials of the obvious. I liked:

Any reasonable look at the daily or weekly public-affairs content of public broadcasting is still going to find a liberal tilt. Even Mitchell, the PBS president, told the Los Angeles Times she was upset at all the content criticism she's taken from left-wing groups, since "They are our natural allies and friends ... I'd expect them to be more understanding. The sad thing is, the people who want to see public television get better resources are hardly helping by participating in this kind of debate."

Sheesh, pull the plug on these losers. No more taxpayer money and absolutely no "endowment."

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 9:37 PM -

 
Today's Hoot!

(Via Viking Pundit) Harry Reid Even More Clueless Than We Thought:

Harry Reid claims that the reasons the Democrats lost in 2004 is because they failed to take their message to rural America. Actually we think Harry got it backwards. They lost because rural America got their message loud and clear. (And come on, after the Kerry goose hunting trip, how could he claim rural America was neglected?)

Ah yes, the goose hunting trip. I was sure convinced!

Labels: Harry Reid

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:54 PM -

 
"Sometimes you feel like a nut"

But for ole Maurice Hinchey, that seems to be all the time. Now Maurice claims the vast Rathergate conspiracy is even more vast. More like Maurice is half-vast. Even worse, his latest delusion is stumping the comics:

iowahawk 2/24/2005 02:39PM PST

That's it.


I QUIT.

But I guess being a conspiracy buff has its perils. Now the poor little feller is feeling sad and lonely too!

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:42 PM -

 
Where's Deano?

Dean Disappears

Has anyone else gotten the impression that Howard Dean must have seen his shadow and gone back underground for six more weeks of winter? The selection of the former Vermont governor as Democratic National Committee chairman came off as expected earlier this month, but what was not expected is the extremely low profile he has taken since winning the job.

A DNC spokesman confirmed Tuesday that Dean has still not been scheduled to appear on any national television or radio talk show as DNC chairman — no interviews, in fact, for at least two more weeks.

Dean's handlers have done everything humanly possible to keep him away from reporters' questions. At the DNC winter meeting where he was elected chairman, Dean was shuttled out the back door from a "meet the candidates" session ten minutes before reporters were to be allowed entry. He disappeared from his own victory party that Saturday night at Capitol City Brewing Co. after his brief speech, in the first 15 minutes.

I don't know about you, but I'm having severe withdrawal symptoms. I want my Deano!

But maybe it's a clever plan:

The official explanation for Dean's disappearance is that he needs some time to "settle in" at the DNC before he meets the press. That's not terribly convincing. First, Dean's need for acclimation isn't stopping him from giving speeches in Kansas and Ithaca, N.Y. in the coming week (he won't have to face reporters at either event), on the heels of his Oregon debate.
...
As Dean took the reins as chairman, he faced the dilemma of whether he would bicker with Democratic elected officials about the party's direction, or else disappoint his more radical supporters by becoming, as most party chairmen do, a lapdog who barks out the party line as spelled out by others. Dean may have found a third way: a "stealth chairmanship."

As a stealth chairman, Dean avoids both traps. His actions and words need not bear any relation to what Congressional Democrats are doing from the minority, meaning he's much freer to be himself. Even better, Dean's net-negative approval rating (38-percent unfavorable to 31-percent favorable in this month's Gallup poll) will harm the party much less as long as the general public remains oblivious to him.

But the true believers will notice Dean. His very presence at the DNC is supposed to excite the left-wingers who propelled him to small-donor fundraising greatness in 2003 and early 2004. Even as their money continues to pour in and their energy keeps the party's grassroots ablaze, Dean keeps his low profile, making only private fundraising appeals and addressing only highly partisan Democratic audiences in order to rally the faithful.

The wingnut poster boy goes stealth! Sounds like a fine opportunity for citizen journalists of the blogosphere. If you don't mind hanging out with the unwashed.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 11:44 AM -

 
Breaking hard from Evil Rove HQ!


Tim Blair has the transcript:

Ann Coulter: With respect, sir, the plan was to ...

Rove: Plan? Plan? Listen, legs, this plan wouldn’t fool a Kennedy! Or a crack-addicted homeless person! This so-called plan wouldn’t rate a segment on Air America! This plan I’m looking at wouldn’t be posted at Democratic goddamn Underground! This half-assed, retard plan isn’t worth the ...

Hugh Hewitt: Actually, we were thinking of giving the memos to Dan Rather.

Rove: Proceed.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 2:07 PM -

 
Time for a big honking hoedown!

I know what's been troubling you, Bunky! It's that the United Nations hasn't told us yet how the Internet should be run, right? Well, not to worry - UN Panel Aims to End Internet Tug of War by July:

A U.N.-sponsored panel aims to settle a long-running tug of war for control of the Internet by July and propose solutions to problems such as cyber crime and email spam, panel leaders said on Monday.

I'm so excited! But here's the good part:

The panel, set up in December 2003, will lay groundwork for a final decision to be taken in Tunis in November at a U.N.-sponsored World Summit on the Information Society, where global control of the world wide web may be decided.

It's World Summit time again, kids! Yaaaaaay! All aboard for WSIS fun!

"There is an issue that is out there and that needs to be resolved," said Nitin Desai, chairman of working group and special adviser to U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan.

The "issue" is another fantasy from the usual suspects, but it ought to be good for at least 10,000 attendees, I'd say. There's lots more at the ITU Press Room which issues press releases like this:

Having forged ahead with discussion on the mechanisms to finance ICTs, which will resume Tuesday 22 February, the Subcommittee pressed on with consideration of the other main topic on the agenda of PrepCom-2: The Tunis Plan of implementation. The Plan, which forms the bulk of the operational part of the final document tabled by the “Friends of the Chair”, represents a concerted effort to translate into concrete reality the Plan of Action adopted at the Geneva phase of WSIS, held in December 2003. The entire document is in square brackets (not yet agreed) as of now, and therefore subject to fine-tuning of language that will eventually yield consensus on this key issue.

Here's some fine-tuning: delete everything between the first "[" and the last "]". But to get the full flavor of this hootenanny, check out the summit website, particularly the press releases:

Youth to power-up major UN Summit on "Information Society:

The leadership of youth in IT has translated into enthusiastic and effective involvement at WSIS; they have completely self-organized their involvement with a significant slate of activities from early 2002 through to the Summit. Youth from as many as fifty countries and representing diverse perspectives have participated in force at the major meetings of the WSIS process, including all the global preparatory meetings. Through a "caucus", they have successfully lobbied governments for a reference in the Summit's declaration that goes beyond the usual token comment about "helping youth", to a strong paragraph that acknowledges the centrality and possibility inherent in young people's contribution to the development of the "Information Society".

Woohoo! A whole paragraph! They're also going to launch a "major coalition" called "Youth Creating Digital Opportunities". Be there or be square!

Press release for Digital Inclusion brand

How do we know when we have crossed the Digital Divide?

A brand that will give international recognition to all projects working on the Digital Divide may be the first step.

The Digital Inclusion brand was developed as a result of the recent Salzburg Seminar in Austria and attended by 55 high-level IT experts from 30 countries. It will give instant recognition to the 100 000's of projects which have the key aim of building self reliant members of the Information Society across the world.

The branded projects will provide an internationally recognizable basis for people to share experiences across the Digital Divide that exists across cultures and countries.

I'll spare you the logo. Hmm, I wonder if the Country Store qualifies?

Global Unions Call for "Stronger and Deeper" Action to Protect Information Society Workers. There's a surprise!

But I saved the best for last - No Internet access at The Summit:

The Civil Society Bureau to the WSIS strongly protests that there is a change in the established practices for ensuring wireless Internet access for the actual WSIS. Until now participants in the WSIS were connected online during the PrepCom meetings at no price, while - to our astonishment - we noted that for the WSIS itself the wireless access will be paid, and at the very high business rate of CHF 0.90 / minute.

Many of our members are coming from developing countries where one hour of such usage is equal to more than a monthly salary! That's a bad example of what the digital divide may be described as.

While we are thankful for the existence of a Free and Open Source Software (FOSS) cybercafe, we must state that many of the participants in the WSIS bring their own notebooks, equipped with wireless Internet access cards, and they rely on the accessible communications in order to fulfill their duties.

And I thought their duties were to pad their expense accounts! OK, everyone, down to Starbucks! Oh wait, that's not free either. But I do wonder how they manage to afford their laptops and wireless cards.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 1:26 PM -

 
Will common sense prevail?

Let PBS go:

THE Public Broadcasting Service is collapsing of its own weight. While PBS executives and Washington politicians wring their hands over the network's inevitable demise, we believe there is a simple solution. Let it collapse.

I'm not hopeful though - even a wooden stake through the heart won't kill government programs.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 11:31 AM -

 
It's that Macho Man again!



When last we visited Hugo Chavez, he was busy proving his studliness with crude sexual comments about Condoleezza Rice. Now the Macho Man is back with another old favorite:

Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez said Sunday that he would stop oil exports to the United States if the U.S. government tries to assassinate him.

That'll be awfully hard to do when he's dead.

Chavez and Cuban leader Fidel Castro accused the United States last week of planning to assassinate Chavez.

"If I am assassinated, there is only one person responsible: the president of the United States. You must take action if this happens," Chavez said to listeners of his show.

Line up to urinate on his grave?

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 7:26 AM -

 
Get to know your Congresscritter!


Confederate Yankee has the latest Hinchey Hijinks and LGF has more Hinchey "wisdom". Makes you wonder how he finds his socks in the morning, doesn't it? Over at Carpe Bonum there's more than you want to know about the wacky little fellow, but I liked the comments:

At 6:37 PM, Anonymous said...
Actually Hinchey is an agent of Rove, put in place to make the Democrats look like idiots. That's just so obvious. I'd like to see him prove otherwise. What else could explain this kind of stupidity.

At 6:50 PM, Carpe Bonum said...
Maybe Hinchey *is* Rove...ever seen them together?

Me neither!

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 6:22 AM -

 
Catfish and hush puppies

Because it's too late for the usual biscuits and gravy.

Bill, Janet, MSM: KISS MY ASS!

Mark Steyn - Atlanticist small talk is all that's left

In Brussels yesterday, the President's "charm offensive" consisted of saying the same things he always says – on Iraq, Iran, Palestine, the illusion of stability, the benefits of freedom, the need for Egypt and Saudi Arabia to get with the programme, etc. But, tone-wise, the Bush charm offensive did its best to keep the offensiveness reasonably charming – though his references to anti-Semitism and the murder of Theo van Gogh by a Dutch Islamist were a little more pointed than his hosts would have cared for.
...
Nato will not be around circa 2015 - which is why the Americans are talking it up right now. An organisation that represents the fading residual military will of mostly post-military nations is marginally less harmful than the EU, which is the embodiment of their pacifist delusions. But, either way, there's not a lot to talk about.
...
So what would you do in Bush's shoes? Slap 'em around a bit? What for? Where would it get you? Or would you do exactly what he's doing? Climb into the old soup-and-fish, make small talk with Mme Chirac and raise a glass of champagne to the enduring friendship of our peoples: what else is left? This week we're toasting the end of an idea: the death of "the West".

Many Africans See U.S. As Distant Savior

LOME, Togo - As President Bush (news - web sites) visits Europe this week, he is up against a continent brimming with hostile public opinion. But while Americans have grown used to being condemned as global bullies, at least one region has people looking to them for salvation.

For many of the young people who take to the streets in protest in Lome and other blighted, overlooked capitals across Africa, only one distant power seems great enough to defeat the local forces of tyranny: the U.S. military.

"Tell George Bush to send us guns," young protesters screamed last weekend in Lome, capital of Togo, where the dictator of 38 years had just died, only for his son to succeed him by military appointment within hours.

"We need American troops to deliver us from this regime," young men shouted.

Gosh, what would the Euros and the UN say?

Aid Pours in for Victims of Mommy Madness

Pearsall, herself a mother of four and part-time convenience store clerk in Alachua, is widely credited with creating the grassroots relief network that has generated over $4,600 in donations for Upper Westside supermoms desperately seeking meaningful time for self-actualization. Her charitable crusade was spurred, in part, by an injury to one of her children.

"Little Brandon was goin' at the bug zapper again, even after I warnt him that'd git him another whuppin'," she explains. "Anyways, I was sittin' in the waitin' room at the emergency clinic, and I picked up this Newsweek magazine and read me this article about how these mommas up there in New York and Boston were faced with all them false expectations and gender roles, and I just flat ass broke down."

"I hadn't cried that hard since NASCAR fined Little E for sayin' them cuss words," she adds, her eyes still welling with traces of the raw emotion that drove her to action.

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" It turns out that my favorite Hunter S. Thompson story is excerpted online:

This incident has haunted me ever since it smacked me in the eyes one peaceful Sunday morning a few weeks ago as I sat on the balmy screened porch of the National Affairs Suite here in the Royal Biscayne Hotel. I was slicing up grapefruit and sipping a pot of coffee while perusing the political page of the Herald when I suddenly saw my name in the middle of a story on Ed Muskie's "Sunshine Special" campaign train from Jacksonville to Miami.

Several quick phone calls confirmed that something ugly had happened on that train, and that I was being blamed for it. A New York reporter assigned to the Muskie camp warned me to "stay clear of this place . . . they're really hot about it. They've pulled your pass for good."

"Wonderful," I said. "That's one more bummer that I have an excuse to avoid: But what happened? Why do they blame me?"

"Jesus Christ!" he said. "That crazy sonofabitch got on the train wearing your press badge and went completely crazy. He drank about ten martinis before the train even got moving, then he started abusing people. He cornered some poor bastard from one of the Washington papers and called him a Greasy Faggot and a Communist Buttf***er . . . then he started pushing him around and saying he was going to throw him off the train at the next bridge . . . we couldn't believe it was happening. He scared one of the network TV guys so bad that he locked himself in a water-closet for the rest of the trip."

"Jesus, I hate to hear this," I said. "But nobody really thought it was me, did they?"

"Hell, yes, they did," he replied.

And then it got even better. I seem to recall that the imposter's interruption of Muskie's big speech had to do with a demand for more gin and there was something about "triple gin bucks without the buck", but it's been some years since I read it. And yes, I am old enough to remember Muskie. Just think what you whippersnappers missed.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 7:12 PM -

 
Nice fresh moonbat!

Congressman Says Rove Planted CBS Memos. Bwahahaha! If they only knew! I planted them!

Gosh, I hope they don't find out about the Mind Control Satellites^TM.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:43 PM -

 
Need a good snooze?

I haven't had a good rant about the "EU constitution" lately and since Spain is kicking off the voting on it today, now would be a good time. However, it's such a tedious amalgam of bureaucratic blather that I'm hard pressed to work up the enthusiasm. I need not have fretted - Charles Moore handles it nicely in the Telegraph with Why the EU Constitution is bad for Britain and bad for the US:

Several countries, including Britain, are committed to holding referendums on the subject. Spain is first off, on Sunday. According to the Spanish justice minister: "You don't have to read the treaty to know it's a good thing."

That gives ya confidence!

George W. Bush is a good Protestant [connection in the article - ed.], but I doubt if he has read the European Constitution. Why should he, indeed, since he is lucky enough to live in a country that will not be ruled by it? No reason at all, unless, as is rumoured, early drafts of the speech he will make in Brussels next week commit him to saying what a wonderful thing it is.

Er, bad mistake. Gosh, could it be a sneaky ploy to turn all those sensitive Euros who detest him against it?

It is natural for Americans to like the sound of the word "constitution". They have the best one ever written in a single document. It consists, in the copy I have before me, of 12 pages, 11 if you exclude the list of the men who signed it. There are also amendments added over the past two centuries: they amount to another nine pages. If President Bush tucked himself up with it at his famously early bedtime of 9.30, he could finish it well before 10.

I should be surprised if the State Department, the Washington faction keenest on turning Mr Bush into a Euro-enthusiast, has encouraged him to go to bed with a copy of the European Constitution. My copy, published by TSO (note that the former name Her Majesty's Stationery Office has quietly been relegated), is 511 pages long. I do not claim it would keep Mr Bush up all night – in fact, I guarantee that, if he tried to read it, he would still be asleep by 10 – but it would wake him and the First Lady up with a start as it slipped from his nerveless hands and crashed, all 2lb 8oz of it, on the floor.

If he did spend 20 minutes with the document, however, the President would see that it was not what is normally meant by a constitution. Rather than confining itself to the division of powers by which a country should be governed – head of state, parliament, judiciary, what's local and what's national – it lays out scores of pages telling people how to run their lives. It supports positive discrimination, outlaws the death penalty in all circumstances, commits itself to high public spending, compulsory consultation with trade unions about changes at work, "the exchange of youth workers", "fat-free breakfasts", "distance education" and "the physical and moral integrity of sportsmen and sportswomen" (I made one of these up).

How can you tell? More humor by following the link, but it's rather sick humor. How did otherwise normal people become so addled by a mirage of bureaucratic nirvana? Anyhow, the President should tell the Foggy Bottom ponces to stuff it. If the Euros want to go to hell in a handbasket, we shouldn't grease the skids.

UPDATE: Mark Steyn:

And now the President himself is on his way, staying up all night on Air Force One trying to master the official State Department briefing paper on the European Rapid Reaction Force, the European Constitution, the European negotiations with Iran, etc. ("When these subjects come up, US policy is to nod politely and try not to giggle. If you feel a massive hoot of derision coming on, duck out to the men's room, but without blaming it on the escargots.")

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 2:57 PM -

 
Road Trip!

I haven't the faintest idea why President Bush wants to visit the Euroweenies other than to attempt the near impossible task of injecting a little steel in their spines, but the fun part is the way the usual suspects get all atwitter about the trappings of a Presidential visit. The NY Times provides a risible set of tips from prominent Euros on Winning Back Europe's Heart. With the exception of Stefan Hrib, they all seem to be visiting from some distant star cluster. Oh yeah, A U.N. Seat for Europe is a real problem solver. On the other hand, giving them the whole United Nations, lock, stock, and barrel, would be a great idea but none of them step up to the plate.

Anyhow, I'm nothing if not helpful, so I have to point out that Dennis Boyles has a phrasebook for the presidential tourist that ought to come in handy:

Europeans hate the way Americans talk. They think we're loud and uncouth and they don't like our jokes, except for Michael Moore. Plus, they resent the fact that they’ve had to learn our language because if they didn’t we wouldn’t buy their stupid metric widgets or visit their overpriced ruins.

So when the president goes to Europe to give his speech to all the EU-niks in Brussels on Tuesday, it’s important that he speak clearly — or at least clearfully. Because there are a few things he needs to say, and they can all be summed up in seven handy, easy-to-utter phrases:

Follow the link for the complete list but I liked:

5. Knock off the eco-hypocrisy.The Europeans like to parade their agreement to abide by the provisions of the Kyoto pact like members of an Earth Shoe drill team. According to a piece in the IHT, “[Jürgen] Strube, the chairman of BASF’s supervisory board, responds with a hint of impatience when asked how European industry plans to comply with the Kyoto Protocol, which requires Germany and 34 other countries to reduce their emissions of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases. As the treaty takes effect Wednesday, worries about its fairness are mixed with mild resentment [because] in their view… American and Chinese companies will not bear these extra costs.” The item is a pick-up of a New York Times story by Mark Landler, so of course the rather salient fact not reported is that neither France, Germany, nor the rest of the EU will comply with the treaty provisions either. They aren’t about to “bear these extra costs” when they can barely afford to drive to the beach in August as it is. In fact, the EU has treated Kyoto like its now-toothless debt-limit treaty and given up on it altogether. “Kyoto im Koma,” were the words of a memorable Suddeutsche Zeitung headline a little over a year ago when the EU’s Kyoto failure was first widely noticed.

Naughty Euros!

Of course, pandering to the Euros is a growth industry for the MSM and the Democrat party, so we can expect to hear a lot of whining during and after the visit, but how about an entrepeneur like Jeremy Rifkin who apparently wants to sell them assertiveness training?

EUOBSERVER / BRUSSELS - The American dream has reached the end of the road and its time for the European dream to take over as the new global vision for the 21st century, according to American author and analyst Jeremy Rifkin.

Speaking at a debate in the European Parliament organised by the Green group on Tuesday (15 February), Mr Rifkin argued that after a century and a half, the American dream has lost its way.

Yadda, yadda. I guess you have to bite the heads off chickens if you want to get the rubes into the sideshow, but here's the nut:

While America is "losing the vision", it is time for Europe to be a beacon for this century says Mr Rifkin author of a best-selling book called The European Dream.

So what is this dream? Mr Rifkin concedes that no European can describe it. "If you ask Europeans, no one can tell you".

He says it encompasses inclusivity, multi-cultural diversity, quality of life, balance of work and play, human rights, creating a sustainable world and waging peace.

I'm feeling rather Euroish - who's up for a leisurely lunch and a siesta? Anyhow, Jeremy's big solution is for the Euros to have a positive self image.

But despite having a lot going for it, Europe has still to step out of America’s shadow. "You Europeans are always wondering about America. We never think about you, never, you’re not on our radar screen".

Actually the Euros would be on the radar screen if they weren't so far down the Rifkin road to terminal inconsequentiality. And as you might expect, ole Jeremy had a rather checkered history before he turned assertiveness trainer.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 9:09 AM -

 
I was wondering how long it would take

SHUT THE CELL UP:

Can you hear me now?

Unsuspecting cellphone users may find themselves saying that more often now that cellphone jammers — illegal gizmos that interfere with signals and cut off reception — are selling like hotcakes on the streets of New York.

"I bought one online, and I love it," said one jammer owner fed up with the din of dumb conversations and rock-and-roll ringtones.
...
Online jammer seller Victor McCormack said he's made "hundreds of sales" to New Yorkers.

"The interest has gone insane in the last few years. I get all sorts of people buying them, from priests to police officers."

Jammers come in a variety of shapes and sizes, from portable handhelds that look like cellphones to larger, fixed models as big as suitcases.

Their sole goal is to zip inconsiderate lips. The smaller gadgets emit radio frequencies that block signals anywhere from a 50- to 200-foot radius. They range in price from $250 to $2,000.

But don't expect to find jammers at the local Radio Shack — they're against Federal Communications Commission regulations because they interfere with emergency calls and the public airwaves. They are illegal to buy, sell, use, import or advertise.

A violation means an $11,000 fine, but the FCC's Enforcement Bureau has yet to bust one person anywhere in the country.

"This is not a crime that they're going after," said Rob Bernstein, deputy editor at New York City-based Sync magazine.

He said jammers are here, and their use is multiplying.

More anecdotes by following the link. In fact, a cell phone jammer isn't particularly high technology and nature abhors a vacuum.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 7:49 AM -

 
It's too early in the morning for stuff like this

The Sunday Times of Britain's Nicholas Hellen, Social Affairs Editor, astounds with Navy signals for help to recruit gay sailors:

THE Royal Navy has turned to Stonewall, the gay lobby group, for advice on how to recruit and retain homosexual sailors.

Senior officers want to encourage more gay and lesbian sailors, estimated at 2,100, to “come out”, paving the way for the first openly gay admiral.

The partnership, to be announced tomorrow, will provide the template for a wider change in the culture of the armed forces. Ben Summerskill, chief executive of Stonewall, said: “We hope that the RAF and the army will be following shortly.”
...
He admitted the navy was irritated by the fascination in popular culture with the camp behaviour of gay seafarers — reflected in songs such as the disco hit In the Navy by Village People.

It would seem to call for a round of Monty Python jokes, but the FReepers got there first.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 7:31 AM -